June Roses and Wedding Bells
By SOPHIE IRENE LOEB.
Copyright 1912 The Press Publishing Co.
TO THE June bride there is one day that is the RAREST of all — the wedding day. At present she is in the midst of “Something old, and something new, something borrowed and something blue.” Grandmother took it literally; but not so with her granddaughter.
She has something old to look back upon, something new to look forward to, something borrowed from Cupid to return in equal measure, and something blue to forget. Thus the average bride views it all. And this gives ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, the Persian Prophet of Peace, room to say: “Of all freedoms that exist in your free country, the freedom of marriage is abnormal. There is not enough importance attached to it. Anybody can get married. It seems to be one of the easiest things you can do here. The coming existence is hardly considered. It is a case of one romance after another, and romance is indeed a very shaky thing to build from. If you would promote peace in the home, marriage must be made more difficult. The purpose of the present day marriage is haphazard in its conception.
“Given a little romantic state setting and the thing is done. There is very little realization of the great importance of the couple’s future together. They go into it willy-nilly and find it difficult to go out of it in the same way.
“There should be perfect understanding with respect to habits, temperaments and peculiarities. The great mistake is that people try to reform after marriage, to conform to each other, which causes the trials that they had not calculated they would be called upon to bear.
“Too much of this is hidden before the marriage ceremony. People do not speak plainly nor do they give an account to each other. This is most important.”
And the sage of the Orient speaks words of wisdom. Have you then, little prospective bride, thoughts hidden? Have you spoken PLAINLY and given the account BEFORE taking, so you may not find a bitter medicine AFTER taking? Or you, of the masculine gender, who is ready “to have and to hold until death doth part?”
It is a long time. Has the sunlight of June entirely obscured a possible gray cloud that may bring a rainy day upon which you have not reckoned? And would you know how to find the silver lining, so that the demon of discontent might never find room at the hearthstone?
“Again all these things and more would the self-same prophet of peace insure everyday humans, in event of future ills.
“First of all,” he says, “there should be equal rights in the home. Each should respect the wishes of the other. An equal PARTNERSHIP must exist; with the rights of each firmly RECOGNIZED. There must be a reasonable basis of livelihood to insure comfort and each must be physically fit.”
Just so! The “spirit of oneness” can only come with the understanding of each. It is a give-and-take proposition; and when you give your promissory note at the altar, the joy of it all will be manifested when the interest demanded of each is not usurious and too DIFFICULT to pay.
In this mad maelstrom of demand and activities, there are TWO people to consider: and not ONE as the idealist would have us believe.
“Happy is the bride that the sun shines on.” But she must not forget to reckon with the rainy season. Love is the loaf of life and each of us needs a slice. But the WILLINGNESS to share even that slice long after the orange blossoms have faded will make for the lovers of June the future time worth while.
[picture caption: MISS SOPHIE I. LOEB]
